I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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