what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
