The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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