The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
