Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Still dying that you shit outside
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Randomize
