I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
