What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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