Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize