he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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