so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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