You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
