Your tits are I can't wait for
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
