Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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