never play flip cup with pint glasses
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
