This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
