It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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