so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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