If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
