Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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