its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
