When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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