so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
