I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
