Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
