oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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