Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
