office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
