I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize