why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
