I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
