dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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