we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
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Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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