I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
