I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize