oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
This is classic penis vs brain.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
