I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
