Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
so much tequila, so little girl.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
