is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
