I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
