Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize