exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
