using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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