bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
