I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I look better un-naked...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
