Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
