I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
