that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
