at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
