Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
