I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
