A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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