How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
