I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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