what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
