its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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