I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
