How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
