Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
