Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
MIDGETS
????
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
