The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize