you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize