After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
