YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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