She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize