If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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