Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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